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  Joan told the salesman she was still interested in both but she’d like to know his final, rock bottom price. He looked at the Joan as though thinking it through. She was dressed in jeans and a sexy little blouse so that didn’t tell him what she could afford either. She had come in a Jaguar but Grace drove that, she was dressed in a cream colored pants suit without the jacket, so that told him nothing. After hmm and hawing he said he’d have to discuss it with his manager. Much to his alarm Joan tagged along. He couldn’t shake her no matter how much he hinted. Grace slowly followed and heard him trying, desperately. Joan marched up to the manager and indicated the two vehicles she had driven, she asked the him what kind of deal they could arrange. After hearing him Bs for awhile about the value of the vehicles, how great they were, how much had gone into them she leaned over and said in no uncertain terms “do you want to sell a car or not?” Looking through the price book he only came down $2000 on the first one and $1400 on the second. Joan glanced at Grace and Grace thought she saw a flicker of amusement in her eyes.

  “Gentlemen, I’ve been on your car lot for over an hour now. I’ve narrowed my choices down to two of your fine vehicles. I’m sure you don’t want to waste my time and I certainly don’t want to waste yours but if you continue to Bs me on the price your going to lose me as a customer.” She said it sweetly but firmly.

  The manager looked from his salesman to this braided woman. He wasn’t sure if he should KNOW her, was she someone famous? In LA one never knew but he could tell by her tone that he was about to lose a sale if he didn’t do something quick.

  Writing down some figures and additions to what was already offered he showed her the final figures on a worksheet. Joan sweetly reached across the desk and grabbed a red pen from in front of the man and wrote over the figures already written coming up with a drastically reduced price than they were willing to offer. Opening her purse she asked “Would you like it in a check or credit card?”

  The manager swallowed. They certainly wouldn’t be losing money on the deal if they went with HER figures but there was the matter of saving face. “Well ma’am the banks aren’t open today and we couldn’t verify your check until tomorrow. I’m sure your credit card doesn’t go that high” he said in a sweetly patronizing tone.

  Grace was waiting for Joan to blow up. She hated men who talked to people this way. Grace had watched Joan go face to face with a grocery store manager who had talked this way to her once.

  Smiling Joan took out her cell phone and looked at it’s display. Punching in some numbers she waited while it rang. Talking rapidly into the phone she gave the types of vehicles and the vin numbers, she waited a moment her nails tapping out a tattoo on the desk. The manager and the salesman exchanged a look. Finally she said into the phone a bunch of code numbers, waited, and then handed the phone to the manager. Taking it gingerly he said “Hello, this is the manager of Luxury Motor Cars, may I help you?”

  “This is States Bank, I believe you have a client of ours in your showroom?” A womans voice responded.

  “Yes?” The man was clearly puzzled.

  “Yes, Ms woods is covered for ANY amount up to seven figures on her personal check and high six figures on her credit card. You understand for security reasons that we cannot release the exact amount however if you give us your merchant id number I can verify who you are and that the amount of her purchase would be covered.”

  Joan was looking around the lot at the other cars, Grace leaned over and asked “What’s going on?” Joan looked at her, grinned and winked and then shushed her with one finger pressed to her lips. She was listening to the manager.

  The manager pulled some paperwork from inside the desk. He gave their merchant id number and answered a few more questions. He was clearly intimidated. He said “but, but’ a few times and stuttered a few other things. The salesman was watching him curiously. Finally he said “thank you very much” and handed Joan back her phone.

  “Well ma’am, which car have you decided on then?” He gave her a brittle little smile, he had started to sweat.

  Giving a sweet little innocent smile she answered “I’ll take that one, indicating the second one. I want all the additional accessories we’ve agreed on here as well as that price.” She indicated the worksheet with the red pen on it.

  Gulping he nodded and asked the salesman to take care of those accessories while he filled out the paperwork on the sale. Looking up at Joan he asked that she please write out a check for them.

  Happy to comply Joan wrote a check for the total amount that she had written in red and tore it from the checkbook, handing it to the manager. He seemed to be sweating a great deal now. As he filled out the paperwork Joan and Grace wandered through the showroom.

  “What did you do?” Grace asked amused.

  “Nothing” Joan answered in a sugar and spice voice “I just had him talk to the bank that owns his lot, the cars, and his merchant accounts. I noticed it on his ledger there. I happen to have accounts there too. A long time ago I found out about that little number and I programmed it into my phone in case of little emergencies such as these. My code numbers verified who I was, his verified who he was. His card shuffle came to an end and I came up with a full house.” She smiled.

  “Joan, my god what did they threaten him with?” she hissed

  “I’m sure they didn’t threaten him at all, they just pointed out that my well being and satisfaction was more important to them than his was. I’m sure they put the fear of god into him.” Seeing Graces slight alarm she rushed to reassure her “Hey, the price was fair that was some of the numbers I gave. It’s all a shell game. He made money on this deal, the car came up clean. I’m happy, he’s happy, or will be after I leave.” She smiled.

  Grace gave her a quirky little elfin smile and shook her head. Just when she thought she knew this woman.

  The salesman rushed in holding the keys. The car had been hastily rubbed down and the accessories they had agreed on placed in or on the car. Even now a yard man was polishing the gold. He handed Joan the keys and thanked her for her business. The manager came up with the signed paperwork. He did not make any additions for license or any of their other up charges. He’d actually deducted them to come up with a figure equal to that of her check. She signed the paperwork and returned his pen. He gave her the copies and wished her well. As she left he sighed with relief. He’d almost insulted a very powerful woman. He still wasn’t sure who in the heck Joan Woods was but she had the right phone numbers for sure and knew the right people.

  Joan drove the car home with Grace following behind her. They decided not to go to any more malls that day. Enough shopping. Joan pulled into the driveway and stopped in front of the second garage door. Grace pushed a button on her dash and the first garage door swung up. She drove right in. Getting out she went over to the door panel and opened the second door for Joan. Joan drove right in and parked her new toy. Smiling happily she got out of the car. She’d pressed a button and the top was going back on all by itself. She watched from in front of the Jaguar as her car tucked itself in.

  They unpacked their purchases and the produce and put it away upstairs. Joan turned to Grace, Grace could see she was in a high state of excitement. Not one to see other’s in pain Grace accommodated that excitement very well. They spent the rest of the afternoon very enjoyably in bed.

  That evening Grace asked Joan more about what had happened. Joan explained that her accounts in that particular bank (Grace noted the stress on THAT PARTICULAR BANK) were set up so that she could do large transactions if necessary. Craig had set it up so if she needed to buy a house or whatever that it wouldn’t have to go through normal channels. The bank lost nothing for this service, the merchant made a quick deal, and it kept her happy. Grace was still clearly impressed. She wondered what else she didn’t know about this wild woman she was in love with.

  They ate dinner on the balcony watching the sunset. Steamed vegetables and rice for both of them and thinly sliced steak
for Grace. A nice sweet red wine to top it off.

  Grace went to change out the robe that she had on. Opening the closet she found a complete set of luggage with a huge bow around it. Looking up she saw Joan watching her from the doorway smiling hugely. “Happy Birthday” she said softly.

  Thanking her Grace felt uncomfortable. Joan had spent today as much money as most people made in a year if they were lucky. The trip was fabulous and she appreciated it but she couldn’t hope to compete. She tried to broach the subject with Joan without hurting her feelings. Joan finally told her not to even try to compete as it wasn’t a competition. She saw something she wanted, she bought it. She didn’t go overboard. She didn’t buy minks, diamonds, and gold. She didn’t need those things to make her happy. She had seen the trip when she jogged by the travel shop and thought how to make Grace happy. She didn’t do this often so it was a pleasure all the way around for both of them. Grace finally accepted that she couldn’t, wouldn’t compete with this generous woman. She’d accept the gifts and give as generously when she could.

  Joan was easy to please. She didn’t get expensive gifts too often. On mothers day she had received cards and beautiful flowers from the boys. At Christmas she had sent them personalized gifts and things she thought they would enjoy. Not expensive, just thoughtful. She’d given Grace a beautiful suit for work, a watch pendant, and a book that she’d known Grace would enjoy as well as a few funny but irreverent gifts. Simple but it showed that she had thought about the recipient. Grace had given her a silly pillow for the couch, all fluffy and squishy. She’d loved it instantly her face lit up with her joy. She loved the other little trinkets and presents from Grace and the boys. Again, nothing expensive, nothing ostentatious. Simple and thoughtful.

  ~ CHAPTER 14 ~

  Grace woke up as usual on Monday at 6 AM. She showered and by the time she got out and was dressed there was freshly brewed coffee ready for her. The coffee maker had come with her from her apartment. It made four cups. Joan didn’t drink any so the extra three she put in a thermos to take with her to work. Joan made sure that there was a variety of different blends on the shelf for her to choose from. Some of the blends just simply spoiled her they were so delicious. She just had to make sure to put what she wanted in the coffee maker the night before and fill the water hopper in the back. Everything was automatic and set to her schedule. She’d read the newspaper and eat some breakfast before going off to work by 7:30. Joan usually shuffled in by 7. She wasn’t really a morning type of person. She’d be wearing her robe and grunt ‘morning’ while she reached for the orange or apple juice. Her fruit cups were home made and she usually had a couple of days supply waiting in the fridge for her breakfast and snacking habits. She’d pop bread in the toaster if she was feeling fancy. Occasionally if Grace had made eggs she’d eat those too. Once Grace actually saw her eat bacon as well, much to her surprise. Joan’s eating habits were terrible but at least Grace was relatively sure she ate breakfast and dinner as she was there to observe them with her.

  After eating her breakfast she would shuffle back to the bathroom and wash her face and brush her teeth. Once the breakfast had gotten her body going she’d be less grumpy and more inclined to chat with Grace.

  This Monday she reminded Grace about her list of ‘to do’ things which included her passport. She had checked her own to be sure it was in order just yesterday. Grace asked her what she intended to do today. She told her that she would be testing out her new toy, she had some paints she needed to pick up for the last of Jack’s paintings and there was a paint store she wanted to try out up the coast by Port Hueneme. She thought she might even go into Ventura to a store she knew there before coming home and painting. Overall, a full day.

  Smiling over her coffee, it was a rich blend of mint this morning Grace thought ahead to her own day. Joan said although she didn’t drink the coffees she could live off the aroma alone. Giving Joan a kiss good morning she could smell the toothpaste she used she said her usual goodbye and headed out the door with her purse and briefcase in hand.

  Joan went in to take a shower. Within an hour she was heading down to her new toy. She hadn’t wanted to wash her hair because it would take too long so she had put it up on the sides into a thick pony tail of braids. She finished all her errands by noon. The new paint store was interesting but carried little of the kind of paints she used. The guy behind the counter was kinda creepy and he recognized her. That didn’t happen too often and since she was already creeped out by the guy it didn’t wear well on her nerves. He was a little annoyed that she didn’t fawn over her fans as he assured her that he was one but he pressed on her a small can of paint that he assured her would make her very happy with the results on her canvases. Since he was trying to be so nice she accepted gracefully. She was glad to get out of the store though. Up the coast to Ventura to the other store and she was ready to head home. She zipped down Pacific Coast Highway and had a hard time keeping it near the speed limit. Pulling into her driveway she waved at Madge who happened to be at the window. She pressed the button on the device she had taken from the kitchen that morning and the second garage door opened up, she drove right in.

  Taking her purchases upstairs she thought whether she wanted lunch or not. Deciding on the not part she headed right into the studio and started working with her new paints. Putting the can of free paint in the credenza, she painted all afternoon. She was doing the last of Jack’s works. Each one had been different. The first had depicted people as seen from the dining room of Jacks of Malibu. The second a similar scene but at sunset. The third one was one she would never have considered before but Jack insisted. She painted the identical picture of the first one but on glass. This glass when finished would actually be installed in a window in Jack’s dining room and insured up the kazoo. Joan shook her head. What people wouldn’t do when they had too much money. Her other works for him were for the various restaurants that he owned in LA. These last two were for one in Beverly Hills and one new one down in Laguna in Orange County. He told her if he ever opened one in Newport or further down in San Diego, he’d call her first. He was a flatterer and the monies he paid her were good. He’d already had offers for several of her works but he told everyone that they were originals made JUST for him. Her prints sold very well.

  It was about 5:30 PM when she sat up to stretch. Grace would be home in about 15 minutes if she wasn’t delayed at the hospital or by traffic. The two pieces were almost finished but the lighting wasn’t right to finish them today so she left them drying on their easels. Looking at the blank canvas on the third easel she remembered the new paint and she decided to try it. Reaching into the credenza she opened the quart with a screwdriver. A terrible noxious smell came out. She closed it quickly, tapping down the lid extra hard. She put it back on the shelf with her other paints. Feeling funny she went towards the door. The smell was still in the air. She flipped on an overhead ceiling fan to clear it. That wasn’t working fast enough and she felt real sick now. She punched some buttons on a panel by the light panel and one of the giant windows that faced the ocean silently and smoothly opened. A cool ocean breeze came into the room immediately but Joan didn’t feel it. She was on the floor passed out.

  Grace came home by 5:45. She’d had an excellent day. Several of her co- workers Simon included, had come by with a little cake singing happy birthday. She didn’t tell them that it had been Friday but accepted the well wishes anyway. She’d had time to stop by the post office at lunch to get her passport paperwork and she even had time to get her picture taken for it. She got out on time and traffic was relatively light. She only had a few snarls to fight before she set off across the canyon. She’d tried calling Joan but the canyon was terrible on cell phones and once she did get through Joan didn’t answer. That wasn’t unusual as Joan tended to focus on her work when she was painting. She arrived home and parked the Jaguar in the first garage next to the Mercedes. She admired the car for a moment smiling at Joan’s new pride and joy. She
could tell it had been driven that day since the top was still down. Her own top was up today but then she had driven into LA and work wasn’t a good spot to leave wide open like that.

  Since she came in the garage door she didn’t have to turn off the alarm or use her thumbprint. Joan was big on security but with the gallery downstairs Grace didn’t blame her. Tossing her keys and purse on the bar she looked for the mail. Grace must have forgotten to get it. She put her briefcase on the desk and called “Joan?” She headed for the studio. She found Joan lying on the floor. Alarmed she kneeled down by Joan and felt for her pulse. It was faint and irregular. Reaching for Joan’s cordless phone she dialed 911. Reporting what she had found she stayed on the line. Holding the phone away she checked Joans breathing. It was shallow. It seemed like it was getting harder for her to breathe. She started convulsing. Grace dropped the phone to hold her. She made sure that Joan didn’t swallow her tongue. When the fit had stopped she let go of Joan to hit the intercom button to Madge.

  “Yes Joan?” came the pleasant voice.

  “MADGE, it’s Grace, I found Joan on the floor unconscious. She just had a seizure of some sort. The paramedics are on the way, let them up would you?” she shouted into the intercom.

  “Certainly, is there anything I can do to help?” Alarm and concern was in her voice.